‘Ridiculous’ $7 Vegemite toast
THERE'S a fair bit of drama going on in the world right now.
Trump just launched air strikes in Syria and we're on the verge of total global chaos.
Tristan Thompson managed to usurp Trump as America's most hated man by cheating on a pregnant Khloe Kardashian last week.
And Beyonce caused a photo traffic jam in my Instagram feed on Sunday night when she staged a Destiny's Child reunion during her iconic Coachella set.
Despite all these important but insane international events worthy of our time and emotional energy, the thing Australians are most outraged about right now is a plate of Vegemite toast.
The toast in question is served up at Core Espresso cafe in Newcastle, NSW and costs $7.
You know how when you normally order toast, the toppings are either already spread on the bread for you, or they're sitting inside two small dishes on the side of your plate?
Well the chefs at Core do things a little differently.
They abide by the first commandment of hipster food service and plate up the toast on a wooden board.
Then, they quenelle the butter and pop it beside the toast, with a dainty little microherb leaf resting on top.
Finally, they get a great big blob of Vegemite and smear it over the board.
For those readers who have never sat through an episode of MasterChef, a quenelle is an elegant, football-shaped scoop often used to present ice cream, cream and fancy custards - never butter.
Newcastle local Huon Oliver ordered the toast on Monday morning and posted a photo of the dish on Instagram.
"Gourmet vegemite on toast. This is just ridiculous!" he captioned the photo. "Tasty but ridiculous."
Popular Instagram account Brown Cardigan got hold of the picture and shared it with their 348,000 followers. More than 2200 comments later, people were in full-blown outrage.
"This is not on. This upsets me," one person commented. "Seriously??? Hahahaha by the time it gets to your table the toast will be cold ... dry veg toast," wrote another.
"The toast would be well cold by then, the butter wouldn't melt. What a s**tfight," another person said.
Core Espresso's manager Emma Reid said there's a thoughtful reason behind why they serve toast that way.
"If someone orders toast and they want Vegemite, we want to make sure it is presentable and that there is enough Vegemite on there. We don't skimp on Vegemite," she told news.com.au.
"Even though they're only ordering Vegemite on toast, we want our customers to know a little bit of care is being put into the dish. It's nice to put a nice quenelle on the plate," she said.
Ms Reid said her staff had read the comments on Brown Cardigan's Instagram post and thought they were hilarious.
"We all got a good laugh out of it. We're in the business of making people smile and serving good coffee and we thought the comments were hilarious," she said.
When asked about the concerning "cold-bread" dilemma, Ms Reid said she was happy to take any kind of feedback on the dish from customers.
"If the consensus is that butter needs to be on the toast as soon as it hits the table, we're happy to change the dish," she said. "We're all about pleasing our customers so we are happy to make adjustments."
If you've seen any other hilarious hipster dishes worthy of a serious journalistic investigation email email@example.com