by By Michaela Angelo
IN BREAKING news exclusively released to The Lismore Echo by Lismore Regional Gallery, we can reveal that resident tour guide Peggy Popart and an invaluable painting have vanished.
There have been reports of strange occurrences in the dead of night at the gallery: lights flashing, eerie noises and an other-worldly hum emanating from the permanent collection storage.
This morning when gallery staff arrived on the scene, they were shocked to discover Peggy Popart and the much-loved Goanna Headland painting were missing.
CCTV footage is inconclusive but local detectives believe she
may have been sucked into the Gallery's Art Portal -
an interdimensional, inter- galactic conduit used to travel between places of high art appreciation such as The Louvre, The Guggenheim, The Tate
and Lismore Regional Gallery.
Gallery director Brett Adlington said after exhaustive research into Peggy's past, experts have formed a theory that Peggy Popart is actually one of the ancient and mysterious Art Portal Guardians.
"Historians and cosmologists have confirmed is it highly likely Peggy arrived five years ago in Lismore through the Art Portal,” Mr Adlington said.
"We believe she chose this location because of its placement along the ancient abstract expressionist meridian and because Lismore has such a large population of artists and art appreciators.
"We are deeply concerned for Peggy's safety.”
Working around the clock, scientists have discovered that the recent relocation of the Art Portal may have caused a malfunction, causing a rare, pre- Raphaelitic glitch and triggering the instantaneous teleportation of Peggy and the Goanna Headland masterpiece by renowned art legend and Aboriginal Elder Uncle Digby Moran.
"We have no idea where they have been transported to,” a visibly shaken Mr Adlington said.
"We urge anyone with information to come forward and report strange art sightings!
"These could lead us to Peggy and our beloved painting.”
Detectives urge the public to view CCTV footage in Window #1 at the gallery, where they may find more clues about the disappearance.
Gallery management is concerned other artworks
in the collection might become affected by the
Art Portal glitch and have called in outside support from the Art Keepers Agency.
After speaking with
A.K.A special agents Mona and Eliza today, The Lismore Echo can confirm that the Art Portal does
not pose a threat to non-portal guardians
from the general public, although they warn it is potentially perilous for artworks that come into contact with its transformative powers.
"Although this is deeply shocking news, we are confident we are in good hands with the Art Keepers Agency on the case,” Mr Adlington said.
"I know they will rally our art-loving community to bring Peggy and the painting home in time for our opening on October 28.”
For live updates as this shocking story unfolds, check the gallery website, Peggy Popart and Lismore Regional Gallery Facebook pages.
Residents are also urged to be cautious and watch out for strange art happenings and Art Appreciation Activations at the Lismore Quad.
- A public Art Appreciation Activation will be held by Lismore Regional Gallery on: Saturday, October 14, from 10.30am to 12.30pm at the Lismore Quad. Uncle Digby Moran and the A.K.A will be on hand to make the day artfully powerful.
This event is supported by Create NSW's Audience Development Fund, a devolved funding program administered by Museums & Galleries of NSW on behalf of the NSW Government.